I managed to get my hands on this document from the offices of Ryanair. It’s pretty obvious that it’s a first draft, nevertheless it’s a great insight into their new pre flight safety demonstration policy. Dear Passenger, As you know we here at Ryanair wish to make air travel as affordable, comfortable and efficient as…
The following words were written on 3 different planes on a return trip to LA in February of this year. I hate flying, and usually use alcohol to calm my nerves. In this case I more or less relied on Valium. As my mind races I try to write down exactly what I am thinking…
I am what people would call a worrier. I worry about everything. I expect things to go wrong. People say I’m pessimistic, and they’re correct. Why be an optimist? Where’s the fun in that? The world is a nasty place where the idiots are in control. If you constantly expect the best, you’re going to…
I like to travel but I hate travelling. Everyone hates travelling. If you ask someone and they say otherwise, they are simply confused and think you meant Travel. If you correct them and say you were talking about the act of travelling, and yet they hold firm and say they enjoy it, they are goons…
The other day I left my office to go downstairs. I passed through the corridor and went down the four steps that lead to a small landing around which you turn to find the main staircase. It’s a narrow stairs, and just as I found myself at the top, ready to start my descent, a…
The final part of my fear of flying triptych. You get to actually see the alcohol and valium take effect right before your eyes. Witness a mind unravel in just a couple of paragraphs… This was written on a plane and is totally unedited. Initially we all hate each other. With no indication we assume…
The Plane Chronicles No.2 – The Superbowl Unpleasantness The following is a brief document of thoughts that I fired down on a flight to Arizona just before the Superbowl. Once again I was heavily self medicated and none of this has been edited. Saw a fatter bellied man than I of similar age. He is…
The following is the actual train of thought I had on a recent flight. I abhor flying and so I usually self medicate with alcohol and a variety of prescription tablets. This is exactly what went on in my head during the flight. It has not been edited. And to my horror I realised the seatbelt was…
