The Plane Chronicles • Travel Hassles
The final part of my fear of flying triptych. You get to actually see the alcohol and valium take effect right before your eyes. Witness a mind unravel in just a couple of paragraphs… This was written on a plane and is totally unedited. Initially we all hate each other. With no indication we assume…
Do you know your movies? These are less movie descriptions, and more a sort of mental shorthand I use when storing them in my head to save space. I have deliberately gone for well known movies here to ease people in. How many can you get? 1 – Villain and cop switcharoo, shooting doves. 2…
The alarm went on the phone, and I awoke suddenly from a mild nightmare (no real danger or monsters, just that inability to run quicksand leg bullshit). Bleary eyed, horrifically confused and lying dangerously on my left arm, I reached over, grabbed the phone and answered its alarm “Hello… Hello!?………Shit…” It was 7.20am. The actual…
If you wish to class yourself as a card carrying member of polite society you must perform certain tasks like brushing your teeth, not screaming fuck in Mass, washing occasionally and limiting your killing solely to computer games. If you are also trying to stay healthy and disease free, you must perform a certain task…
The Plane Chronicles • Travel Hassles
The Plane Chronicles No.2 – The Superbowl Unpleasantness The following is a brief document of thoughts that I fired down on a flight to Arizona just before the Superbowl. Once again I was heavily self medicated and none of this has been edited. Saw a fatter bellied man than I of similar age. He is…
There is a theory in Physics and Cosmology known as the Multiverse, in which they hypothesise an infinite number of universes existing side by side. This is what we are referring to when we use the term Parallel Universe. If this hypothetical idea were ever to be proven, it would stand to reason that in…
My parents are not the type who like where technology is going. They don’t really trust the internet (Viber – “Get off the phone, this is costing me a fortune”) and fear touch screen technology (IPhones – “I don’t want one, I like to be able to feel the buttons”). Sometimes they ring me with…
Dear Computer, The other day I watched a documentary called Cosmonaut: How Russia Won The Space Race. In it, an engineer from the original Sputnik launch, talked about plotting a precise course for the rocket. It was an extremely complicated endeavor, making sure the angle of trajectory would deliver the satellite into a gentle orbit….
The Plane Chronicles • Travel Hassles
The following is the actual train of thought I had on a recent flight. I abhor flying and so I usually self medicate with alcohol and a variety of prescription tablets. This is exactly what went on in my head during the flight. It has not been edited. And to my horror I realised the seatbelt was…
I had to clean the fridge. Well I’m actually getting ahead of myself. A savage aroma had been wafting throughout the house for a few days. An unusual one. Something warm, sweet and deeply unpleasant. Days of investigating, well, walking around musing over the very nature of the smell, and smells in particular, followed. Books…
